VirginiaHey.com

I just received a great letter about my cruelty to curls entry, Nyr made me giggle and I did the Melissa coffee-spit and spray painted my computer brown! hee hee.. her mention of the proud love dancer minxes who flaunt their bits shamelessly, and the bar holder/dry leaves propelled the paint-job.. But Nyr also made a point that has been on my mind so much... Have we lost our femininity along the course of becoming job hunters? I have rambled on and on about this here, which isnt like me AT ALL (Virg rolls her eyes and laughs).. So forgive the dizzying discourse that is the pattern of my thought.. LOL... jumbled!
Here is a piece of Nyrs letter in response to my post on 'cruelty to curls':

Ehhemm...I have to say that I have long, dark curly hair and hey-ho! you have a point on what you say about "us" - unsatisfied women trying to tame the ravelled web of our hairs -...Why do we do that? Uh, well For me:

- Im not feminine enough, thats a fact. Women with curly hair shake their lovely heads, play with their curls, nice petite love-dancers that they are...

- I just hate to attract attention on me (men or womens) dont want to be envied, cursed or desired. Im afraid of my curls?? Sounds so silly...but Its true, Im shy. I only let my hair go at home for my guy, hehehe. (He prefers straight hair, though. You see? Snif... )

- It takes a longer time in front of the mirror to do your hair in curls too, you have to shape them, accommodate them, dry them with care...I do not have the time so I just punish them with a hair-holder most of the days which creates a non-desire & revengeful reaction: It sadly falls off my head like dried leaves.

What can we do, (what can I do) to feel ourselves happy with our physical talents? Its the same with breasts, Its difficult to find a woman who is satisfied with their shape, size... so are women throughout the world going through a time of re-adjusting patterns? Have we lost our sense of Feminity while we became job hunters? I do believe its so. Its going to take some Time until we fit it ALL in!'

Well said Nyr!

Its so perplexing.. Poor men are having such a hard time because they dont know if they are going to be slugged for opening a door or pulling out a chair these days for a woman, and with some women it is an insult to even hint that she prepare a meal or do her share of the cleaning, be a gracious hostess at home, look feminine, wear a sexy dress.. Or set her hair free!! For us, (women), we want complete equality in every way at work, yet some of us still like pretty words from a man and love to be treated as though he is our protector and we are safe in his arms.. Doors open and chairs pulled out for us and a respectful air around us... The world has gone topsey-turvey while we all adjust to who we are and where we stand.. a difficult time..

Some of us want to be feminine but we dont want to be seen as weak.. We dont like being taken advantage of.. We want equal pay and equal rights for equal work, thats fair, but does that make us manly?

Im confused by the whole thing..

(Take a breath all ye womens libbers, Im on a roll and have a point, but first..read on)

I just love the old fashioned perception of woman.. Soft and curvaceous, warm, loving, a pleasure giver, maternal, a great hostess and home maker, a nester and nurturer who commanded utmost respect for being the healer, the wise shaman, the mother and carer of all life on Mother Earth, the centering force for a man and the master creator of all human life.. There is a strong streak of God in a woman. She is Goddess, giver of life and healing and nurturing and pleasure..

No wonder men tipped their hats and open doors, stood when a woman entered a room or left the table, and gave up their seat on the train..

I love that a woman can give herself permission to be a minx and squeeze into a sexy dress to flaunt her womanly assets and feel soft and sex-bomb-kitten-like.. Or am I trapped in the pre 90's...

Alas, here is the confusion... That picture of a woman I painted above is seen as a slave these days.. (its a shame and I cry about it). She is seen as having no life and no independence.. She is seen as repressed and in bondage to men and the worlds pleasures in every respect.. That woman cannot go to work and be equal with men, fight the same fights, battle the same financial battles and hunt for the same prizes, financial or otherwise and then still expect her co workers to open doors, give up their chairs, stand when she enters the room and tip their hats... She is no longer a Goddess to be revered, she is just another stressed-out co-worker, but with boobs..

In olden times man was the hunter, protector and provider for his family, woman was the nurturer, nester, home and life maker. Nowadays we have a confusing blend of the sexes.. Women are becoming men and men are confused and backing away.. Many toward eachother..

I am single with no children (apart from my adopted four legged ones) so I have to be a man and every day struggle and try to get ahead and swim 'out there' with all the other men doing the same thing, supporting their life and families. I have to be honest here, Mari is the only person on the planet who knows this about me, but I always longed to marry and have a family and have my artist pursuits and study and do community work on the side. I didnt EVER want to be a man or join the workforce like a man. My mother was old fashioned and encouraged us all to be the best we could, but her priority as a mother was to teach the girls how to be home makers and nurturers first! The old fashioned way!

Alas, I just grew-up into the modern world and had to adapt to being a hunter like all the other men.

Now 90% of all women are hunters, they have to be, the cost of supporting a family is way beyond what one person can manage these days, mothers are forced to work to provide for their children. But at what cost to the children.. it’s a worry! What to do?

Women were seen as prizes in the old days, a beautiful well educated hostess with finesse was a highly sought after prize to be wrapped in cotton wool and pampered and adored..

These days Im disgusted to say that men are now taking that position.. My last boyfriend, four years ago saw himself as such a prize, I didnt realize till I had space to see what was really happening.. I was in the USA and he was in Australia that he wanted me to be the man and he to be the woman in the old fashioned sense, but, ha ha, its sad for me, but he didnt want to nurture, or build a home or please me in any way, he just wanted to be pampered and supported.. These days we call men like that gigolos.. And that is what society is doing to us all, it is breeding hybrids that are odd and dont fit properly.. men are woman and woman are men and the tables are turning and tilting oddly..

Im so confused by it all.. But all we women can do is work, (we ALL have to work unfortunately), and try to keep our femininity whilst working. We can have a sharp mind and still be pretty and soft.. The difficult part is being a home maker, nurturer and healer, we dont have time, we are too busy being men.. There is the problem!

Women are easily as intelligent and capable as men, we communicate our thoughts and feelings with ease, but we are not as strong physically, we are not constructed to be...

Men are strong, but cant communicate their feelings and thoughts with ease, and are not as capable as nurturers or healers, they are not constructed to be..

But both are equal.

I repeat.. Both are equal in their own ways!

Who ever said that the one working is the better of the two? Who said that the one at home was the repressed lazy one? Why is giving life and healing and nurturing seen as submissive bullshit and working in an office and climbing a corporate ladder seen as the advantaged position.. What is life, a bloody chess game????

We woman are Goddesses, we CREATE LIFE, we instinctively have all the inbuilt tools to nurture and build a life to adulthood, we are constructed to be natural doctors, psychologists, psychics, energy healers, alchemists and nutritionalists. We have all those tools without having to pick up a book.. We also have a softness and femininity that is pleasing, and we can, with freedom, revel in our femininity and adorn ourselves to enhance that femininity further ... Surely all that is equal to the ability to wheel and deal in the business world? It is also equal to those men who also choose to heal and nurture the world!

Look, there are no superior or inferior people on the planet, we are all equal, and as soon as we can all acknowledge that and have some respect for eachother then we might achieve some balance on Earth all round..

So many people are confused. Money has become God. Sexes are merging. Women are rebelling and denying their construction. Women even want to look like men, but with boobs!

Ever noticed what body image is ultimate for women these days? 6 pack abs, muscular arms, back and legs, wide shoulders, narrow hips... Ahem, that sounds like a description of a man to me.. And we are allowed to have two balls.. as long as they are on our chests only!

LOL

The solution is for women to take back their femininity and stop wanting to grow a mans body and his natural instincts and roles.. Take back into ourselves our gifts of healing, nurturing and creating life, acknowledging and accepting our beautiful womanly soft bodies designed to be that way in order to provide warmth, nutrition for our babies in our fat deposits, hormones in our fat deposits, and accepting and loving our beautiful soft curves that should be seen as delicious.

We must be healthy, yes, we should not become obese and murder our bodies with self indulgence, but it is normal and healthy to be 10-15 pounds more than superficial society suggests..

We all have to work these days, so lets be women and men working side by side, and not become a world filled with men and men-clones..

Since we are both working, we have to share the household duties equally. It is not fair for the woman to be working full-time and running the home, cooking cleaning and nurturing, if she has to be part-man. You men should also be part-woman and help equally.

Men must learnt to communicate their feelings, listen and learn to help around the house. (Mothers teach your boys to do this.. In ancient times mothers taught their children to think and socialize with all, including the opposite sex.) And also to learn to like a womens body. Are you all turning gay! Why do most of you like a woman to have a mans body with boobs???

Grrr

Men can be men, and women women, we just have to meet in the middle a bit more..

As for opening doors and pulling out chairs and standing when a women leaves the table and tipping your hat to a woman.. Well, thats a lovely tradition that I think still should be in place.

Simple rule = If men treat us as women then we will behave as women. If men treat us like men and we will behave as men. Simple!

And for all those women who dont WANT to be women or be treated as women, well, just smile and say thank you if a man is sweet to you, it wont kill you..

And all those men who want to be women? Call me.. lets go shopping!